Fact: The fact that you are home every day to feed and acknowledge your parrot does not create a bond of any significance. It does not instill the parrot with a feeling of confidence, or provide an environment where they feel safe and secure emotionally, physically, and psychologically. Without proper time, care, and attention, a companion parrot will never develop a strong bond with their caregiver in any significant way. When that happens, the psychological state and condition of the parrot manifests as perceived behavioral issues. Meaningful interaction with a parrot is extremely difficult when that parrot has little or no respect for the caregiver.
What is proper care for your companion parrot? Many caregivers will concentrate on providing fresh water at least twice a day, feeding fresh food twice a day, providing pellets and fortified seed for variety, letting the parrot out of the cage at least 4-6 hours a day every day, and spending one-on-one time with the parrot every day. So what’s the problem, you may ask? Well, these are only the basic minimums for a companion parrot. These basics are not sufficient to create a healthy, strong, and resilient bond with the caregiver, a bond that is everlasting and robust when stressful events happen. Emergencies and unforeseen events may mean that the parrot’s daily routine is temporarily changed. The prior establishment of a strong bond with the caregiver enables the parrot to withstand these changes, and the parrot-caregiver relationship does not suffer.
Unfortunately, many primary caregivers think that just showing up, letting their companion parrot out for a few hours, and spending a little time with them will produce the results they expect and think they deserve. There is much more involved in establishing a stable environment and a healthy relationship than that!
The best way to explain this is to give an example of a well-intentioned caregiver who was committed to their parrot but had very little control over the environment that the parrot was experiencing and what the parrot was subjected to over a 13-month time frame.
The caregiver to-be had conferred with their partner about bringing a companion parrot into their home and the responsibilities they would be taking on. Much thought, time, and due diligence was taken before they made the decision to welcome a parrot as a new family member. Immediately the parrot felt right at home and comfortable with the new surroundings and with both caregivers. Over the course of the next 3 weeks everything went well, and the parrot became comfortable with the routine and his place in the family.
One week later (just 4 weeks after bringing home the parrot) the couple separated. The primary caregiver took the new parrot and moved back in with the parents. The responsibility of running a business combined with a longer commute put more constraints on the caregiver’s time. As a result, the parrot did not see the primary caregiver as much. Although the primary caregiver was home most evenings, not as much time could be spent with the parrot before bedtime. The parents helped by letting the parrot out of the cage and socializing with him in the early part of the evenings before the primary caregiver came home.
After about 4 months in this environment, the parrot started showing some cage aggression and biting. Although the primary caregiver was busy much of the time, the parents still let the parrot out of the cage and talked to him a lot. However, parrots know who their primary caregiver is, and want to be with that person and have their undivided attention.
Four months later, the environment changed again when another couple (extended family) moved in with the parents. The home dynamics changed for the third time in 5 months, and the parrot had to adjust to a different environment again, in addition to having to deal with new people.
There were no additional changes to the dynamics of the household over the next 6 months. The primary caregiver was still not home much in the evenings. Various different family members (some old, some new) tried to help out in caring for the parrot. The parrot was having a tough time trying to ascertain who to form a bond with. Most companion parrots can get along with most members of the family, but every companion parrot needs that special someone they can form a strong bond with.
Lacking a strong bond with the primary caregiver, the parrot had no base of comfort, no security or sense of belonging, and no self-confidence. The parrot's psychological state and condition suffered because of the confusion and chaos in the household, and serious behavioral issues arose. The parrot was looking for that special someone to be the anchor, someone who could be relied on when the situation became too stressful, and someone who could be counted on to be there and make things better.
After 11 months, the parrot and primary caregiver moved out of the parents’ home and into a new home, complete with a new partner. The parrot now had to adjust to his third home within 1 year and had to adjust to another new person. After about 3 weeks in their new home, the primary caregiver’s new partner had their 2 young kids over for the weekend, and again the parrot had to adjust to new people coming and going. These constant changes were happening while the parrot did not have a strong bond with the primary caregiver, and had no opportunity to form one.
Over the course of 13 months, the parrot and caregiver failed to form a strong, healthy connection. As a result, the parrot had been living without structure in an environment that was not stable. Structure in the environment is good and necessary, but stability is an absolute requirement for the parrot to be able to assess and comprehend the world, and to figure out where and how they fit into this world. Being comfortable with their world and their place in it helps the parrot to have self-confidence and healthy coping mechanisms when changes or stress arises.
I’m not saying that having a companion parrot as a pet is impossible, or that you can never have changes within the home. However, when a companion parrot is brought into a new home as a pet, there is going to be a period of confusion and stress. The parrot is looking for someone whom they can count on from the very first day. If the parrot is young and immature, he/she will look to the primary caregiver as a parent. If the parrot is mature, then the relationship may be that of a mate. Both of these bonds are strong once established. The caregiver must be aware of the dynamics of the relationship with the parrot and the role that they play in helping the parrot cope with changes in the environment, dealing with other household members and strangers, and coping with stress in general.
This situation is similar to what happens to children when the parents are not there for them at the critical early stages of brain development, 0-5 years of age. In children, this condition is known as reactive attachment disorder (RAD).
Through many years of research, I have noticed considerable similarities between the attachment-related behavior problems exhibited by companion parrots, as well as dogs and cats, and those of RAD children. The similarities are especially strong with immature parrots (0-4 years of age) and dogs and cats (0-1 year of age). Young animals look to their primary caregiver as a surrogate parent. The experiences and relationships formed in these early years are critical, affecting brain development and how animals learn to view their world.
This also matters to mature companion parrots, dogs, and cats. Although their brains are more developed, chronic stress and anxiety have lasting effects on the ability to maintain homeostasis. Brains are plastic, and permanent changes can occur in response to stressful events. The resulting psychological, emotional, and perceived behavioral responses can last for the rest of the animal’s life, and often become problematic enough that the animal is given to a rescue or euthanized.